Does God Have a Phone Number?
I want a telephone number to call God. I want His number because I need to ask a question. I need to know why I sustained a traumatic brain injury (TBI). On January 28th of 2004, my life changed forever. Blinded by sunlight, I drove my snowmobile out onto a highway where I collided with a pickup truck. People came rushing to the scene to provide aid as I lay there with blood starting to pool around my head. That day the truck forever changed my life.
I would ask Him:
I cannot handle this anymore. It does not get better. Not in our family. I have a father who is consistently moody, a mother who is oblivious to my feelings, an older sister who has her own family and has her own diagnoses, a brother who makes ignorant choices and gives no effort into things that do not benefit him, and then a younger sister who gives nothing and then says I have impacted her career choice. I am not even going to start on my extended family.
I may look okay, but you know I am not. I am really hurting. I wish, everyday, that my life would come to an end. I get blamed for everything. I tell you I have my flaws but also have some key strengths that should never be bestowed to a person.
My life before was not all sunshine and roses but I managed to live. I was the outcast then but it never really affected me. I had so much more to live for. What do I, no have?
The suffering that I have bore should be taken into some consideration by you, God. I miss my old life, who I used to be. I do not want to live my life in fear or depending on others. I want to regain some normalcy. These past 13 years have been a hellhole. So much fighting, arguments, and disappointments. I wish I could understand God’s plan for me.
No matter how I analyze it; I cannot understand it. Please if someone has God’s phone number please leave it with me, I am drowning in my tears.
The anger, the lack of control, and the sudden impulses are all parts of my new self. Can someone please understand that I have a TBI. I want one thing; God’s phone number…